How was it, before i lost it ?

Good.

It's been a long time now, since last time. And i almost think that it's a common sindrom among bloggers. It's sad. Because once you are ready to create a blog and try to write stuff in it (own stuff), it's already a proof that you are an open-minded person. Of course, there's exeptions everywhere. But what brings you to stop this hobby?

Neverminding the question, i will return to my initial intention of this post. Which was ... ? Oh, yes. After so many months i found a little time for my blog (which can't be called blog, for it is like almost empty) - actually, right now i should be doing some essays BUT this may bring up some inspiration. And by using this word "inspiration", i remember that this was the theme of this blog : Finding my inspiration again.

These past months, i contemplated about these facts. Actually about the question: "Can you lose your inspiration?". And i came to the conclusion that you can not. From this we can deduct 2 things: either you had it (before you thought that it left you), or you did not. Of course you will ask yourself "how was it before i lost it?" and because you don't want to sound arrogant to yourself, you'll ask others "do i have it?" and they will say "yes, you have." to make you feel comfortable, although tought a lie. Nevertheless, that means that my search was for nothing and that the inspiration was actually "there", all that time.

One important rule is: You can't force your inspiration! Because what will come out, will be a piece of art/writing/whatever which you will interpret as being totally worthless and it will be demotivating and so on. But, neither should you let it "laze around". I think, all you have to do is... think! And once you have something you think is interesting / important, do not forget it!

Probably not something new to you, dear reader that doesn't exist! In the next entry i will discuss a bit about the history and meaning of inspiration, and what important people during our existance on this planet thought and some of the living ones still think about this term. Term sounds very plain; it's rather a part of ourselves.

BUT i don't want this blog to have inspiration as a main theme. Shite!...

May the inspiration be with you.

Tim-o

Hmm so...

last time we talked about spring. In fact i only mentioned like 3 times without saying nothing about it, but hey... here it is. (It's funny how people automatically write a blog entry about the season that just popped in. "9 am in the morning... i look out the window... it's snowing ... COWABUNGA! i rush to turn my laptop on without even taking a shover or drinking my coffee and write a post about winter". Yes. this scenario would do it.)

(listening to Pink Floyd btw.) So... i realised how much i missed this season today, while smoking a fag on the balcony with a friend of mine, taking little sips of whisky out of out glasses and listening to surf rock. Your thoughts just flew away while starring at the deep blue sky and you could relax. Nothing better on a wednesday afternoon. ( Huh... my describing abilities reached theyre limit :P )

And yet, with the comming of spring i waited for a change, and by change i don't mean changes of the weather. No, i thought that my inspiration would come back to me. It's like something took it from me -.- . Why i expected that the comming would change something in me ? Simple. Because nothing really big changed during the past months in my life and the weather/season is something i can not influence or change. Of course there are several other things that i can't influence too. Spring just came. So, i'll count the days until something will change. (Counting days (?) ... don't even try to find a sense in what i'm saying. It's just a person talking to you, a person who is desperate in getting his inspiration back.)

Hey, that could be a potential name for the title of this blog : "In search of my inspiration". (Sounds gay, if you ask me...)

Overexhausted...

and spring finally arrived by the way. Yes, you are right in doubting this two terms fit. I mean, how can you be exhausted in spring ? Never mind ...

... (some minutes later, listening to Limp Bizkit) Ok, the previous sentences don't make sense. What to do, when you can't come up with anything ? (Goes and grabs something to eat...)

I'll think about that tomorrow. (Goes to sleep)

She's lost control again ...

hehe... listening to Joy Division @ 00.01 posting my first entry ... Y'll have to excuse me but my inspiration today equals zero - that's why the title, together with my super-ultra-alias are very original :)) ... actually i realised now that i lacked a pseudonym. I had a nick for different sites but not a pseudo... Following the primary definition of a pseudonym should make me a writer at this moment, because i chose to have an 'a.k.a.' and ... because i'm writing (not very sure about how worthy it is to be read... especially by you! ).

now Dire Straits - Sultans of Swing is running in the background and my mood suddenly changes ... i wanna partyyy :) (soon my friend, soon...). Oh, forgot something... why did i create a blog ? 'Cause i was and still am bored. And no, i won't share all my feelings, impressions with you. Neither will it be a diary. We'll see how my blaag is gonna end up ;).

The first post is always very important .... it's like the baby's first words, except that you know some more, but still.

Yours truly,
Tim-O